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If you could time travel – and of course you cannot – you could choose to go back in time and redo the past events which made you who you (your ego) are today. You can’t time travel, because the past no longer exists, and the future hasn’t existed yet. (Although that is a poor way to put it; more on that in another post.) [continue reading…]


It’s All My Fault

This ides, that something is all your fault (or even partially your fault) seems to underlie a lot of childhood pain.

Young babies learn very quickly that they can do things, perhaps from the time they first found some comfort by getting their thumb into their mouth. They did it. As childhood progresses, children learn many more things that they can do – feed themselves, walk, talk, and be a big boy or girl. They learn to control their world by controlling themselves.

So perhaps it is natural for children to see just about everything around them as being caused by them – or, “their fault.” [continue reading…]


Triggers Into Negative Emotions

Have you ever had, or seen, an experience where you or someone else just loses it? Apparently over something small? To anyone else watching, it doesn’t seem like it would be something that deserves the reaction that exploded out (from you, or from someone else.)

You (or that other person) have been triggered. A painful experience in your/their past has been brought back to the surface again. When that past emotion resurfaces, you/they react to this current situation by exploding outwards with the pain. [continue reading…]


A Fundamental Ego Belief – Is It Incorrect?

We humans tend to believe – or at least our ego believes – that we humans are the top of the heap, in terms of intelligence. We rather blindly, or perhaps we refuse to see, the intelligence of other creatures.

Almost everyone has heard about apes and chimps and how they can be trained; how they use tools, how close they are to humans in many ways yet so far behind in intelligence.

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We humans stand so firmly in our beliefs in our brains and our senses. But what if your senses regularly lie to you? What if your brain can also be a liar? And the ego as well?

Sight alone does nothing for us. The brain takes in the signals from the eyes and converts it to something meaningful (usually as a young baby). Older people who are able to gain sight after never having had it, find that they have to go through a period of adjustment in order to make sense of what they are seeing. They have not had the brain training to convert eyesight to usable vision.

We see what we expect to see. No expectations of what we are seeing (with our eyesight) generally means that whatever we see doesn’t make any sense to us (in our brain). Examples of this are the blotch-like patterns of black and white that mean nothing to us, until we are told that a bearded figure, or a horse kissing a woman, are in the patterns. All of a sudden, we “see” what had previously been just blotches of ink on paper. If you don’t expect to see something, you likely won’t be able to see it as anything that makes any sense to you.
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Ego and Virtual Reality

It used to be (and often, still is) said that life is all an illusion or a dream. A friend of mine comments often that “If you are going to have a fantasy, make it a good one!” He’s referring to the idea that life is indeed a dream/illusion, or in his words, a fantasy; and choosing the kind of fantasy you experience as real.

A client of mine often wonders about this. Trained in medical science and working in a highly technological aspect of the medical world, she just can’t “get” the idea of the world as an illusion. The body is very real to her. When my client is poking her forearm and announcing, “See, this is real!” it’s easy to feel that this life and physical being is indeed reality.

But is it? How would we be able to tell?

When you are asleep and dreaming, are you able to tell, from within the dream, that you are awake or dreaming? Both seem totally real at the time. So is this dream real?



The difference appears to be emotional. You can feel it when the mind alone is working, and when the ego enters into operation.

When just the mind is operating – and it does this all on its own – it flits from memory to memory, from one thing to another, with no apparent emotion involved. It’s quite peaceful to be able to watch the mind flitting. There doesn’t seem to be any control. What appears in the mind appears to be random. It literally seems like a butterfly moving from one place to another, at its own whims and responding to the breeze, whatever the breeze might be. Nothing seems important. The mind is expressing observations of what is happening now, replays of other scenes, but all without emotion. Much like a TV flickering on the wall, leaping itself from channel to channel. It seems very benign.

But when the ego comes in – wow! [continue reading…]


The Conundrum of Humble

“Humility is a most strange thing. The moment you think you have acquired it is just the moment you have lost it.”  Bernard Meltzer

Being humble is a prime place for your ego to lay a trap for you – just like when you are proud of yourself for being spiritual, that’s your ego – when you are proud of yourself for being humble – that’s your ego, and you are certainly not being humble if you are proud of being humble!

Humble (humility) means not being proud, arrogant, or feeling or acting superior to others. If you are proud of yourself for being humble – humbleness is a true spiritual quality – you are no longer humble! Someone who has lessened their ego is likely to be more humble, and your humility is lessened with the increased strength of your ego. The two are inversely proportional. [continue reading…]


Ego Against the Ego

Funny thing… in the “struggle” to “subdue” the ego, who is it that is doing the subduing?

The ego, of course.

Every thought you have about the ego,  or about how you would prefer to be enlightened, is the ego talking.

The ego strengthens itself by “struggling”, or “studying”, or “attempting” to meditate, or “searching” for enlightenment. When you read or study (or write posts), it’s your ego doing that. Your consciousness/awareness is just there, aware, conscious, and enjoying. Your ego is doing everything else!

We hear from the masters, over and over, that enlightenment is not something you gain or achieve. We are already enlightened. It’s just that the state of enlightenment is overlaid by the ego. The more the ego gets to talk, or especially to struggle or fight, complain, or wish something was different that what it is… the more it is strengthened.

So how about simply accepting where you are at, enlightened or not? Let’s not add to the ego by struggling or searching.


The story of your life – everything that happened to you and how you interpreted it – is part of how your ego makes you separate from everyone else.  (Aside from your story actually being your ego.) Your story is different from everyone else’s. Your story is special, and it makes you special.

The ego can’t exist without its story of who you are. Your story makes you different, and in being different, you separate from others.

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